Excuses do not only apply to weight loss. We as a society have excuses for everything. Why we can’t be happy. Why we don’t deserve to be happy. Why you shouldn’t be happy either.
We are our own worst enemy. Why should I try to change? What if I fail?! What if it’s hard? What if someone knows I failed because it was too hard? What if it’s uncomfortable? What if someone thinks I’m stupid or what I’m doing is stupid? What. If. I. Am. Wrong?
Seriously, these questions run through my head when I’m contemplating purchasing a lottery ticket, never mind major life choices. (I truly do not get the whole lottery ticket buying process aside from telling them I want a “quick pick” and just giving them some money but I know there is more to it than that…).
I hate looking stupid. Or thinking I look stupid. I may be the Queen of Fake it ‘Til You Make It! That, in and of itself is not necessarily a bad thing. Unless it stops you from ever asking questions out of that fear of being judged.
And that is what happens to me. I would rather choke, sometimes, than I admit I don’t know something. Especially if it’s something I think I should know. My all consuming need to be the smartest, to be right, to not look stupid, to even be “cool” at the age of 38 gets in my way far more often than it should.
Anyone with me? I see it every day. I see it in people trying to decide if even a weight loss journey is something they deserve or can do. Are they ready? What if it’s hard? What if they don’t look like a Victoria Secret model when they are done and spend a night or two locked in the basement with a tube of cookie dough and Netflix? The failure!!!
Or maybe? Maybe it’s just the humanity.
We are all, or at least some of us are, so consumed with what other people will think about what we are doing, thinking, or saying, that we forget they are likely just as concerned with what you think of them and in the grand scheme of things, most people are inherently good.
Of course there are some exceptions: Steven Harper, Hitler, Donald Trump…whoever decided women should be hairless from top to toes. It could be a long list but majority of people we surround ourselves with on a daily basis are good kind people. Trust in that.
Even inherently good people are not without some judgement and may question your choice to pair those pants with that top or your valiant effort to bring the mullet back. You know what though? That’s what most judgements are – superficial things that DO. NOT. MATTER. The only one that truly matters is you. What do you think? What do you want? What do you NEED? Our society is overindulgent where it does not matter and depraved where it does. More things! Get more things! Get as many things as that person has and then go on as many vacations as that person did! Buy child all of the things because his/her friend has all the things!
Self care? Hippy drippy. Self love? Now we’re blushing. Putting your own needs first? That’s selfish, right?! Saying, out loud, no I/we can’t afford that? How embarrassing! You don’t live in a brand new build? ACK! The shame.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t knock anyone else’s lifestyle or choices. I would love a brand new house and a hot holiday! What I’m saying is those are the things we take pride in and put real stock in. We don’t stop to look at who’s a good friend, the one you can count on no matter what. We don’t stop to think about who is honest and who is telling us what we want to hear? Do our own children treat us with respect and just as importantly, do they treat others with respect?
Let’s give ourselves more credit (except Harper, no credits for him). Let’s take pride in what we don’t know! Let’s look at what we can change and want to change or need to change and our power to do so, for ourselves if nobody else. Let’s ask questions! Let’s be honest. Let’s even make some mistakes. Or, gasp, fail!
And if at the end of all that, you have asked a “stupid” question or learned that you really don’t have a knack for ballroom dancing, or still don’t look like a Victoria Secret model, so what? Life is too short to judge ourselves so harshly. Take chances, take risks, trust yourself, and trust that you’ve surrounded yourselves with people who will support you as go.
Because really, why not?