An f-word that is tossed around pretty easily and without much thought. However, I’m thinking it just might be the most dangerous f-word there is. I am a pretty big fan of the other F-word. I like to use it in a variety of ways and am always rewarded with a sense of self satisfaction when I use that word to really drive a point, feeling, or joke home. I know it’s not “polite” or “ladylike” (gag) to swear but yet I can’t stop, won’t stop.
I have been called a number of names in my life but to be called ‘fat’ has always been something I’ve feared or worked the hardest to avoid my whole life. I am still struggling to figure out why. Fat is nothing more than a descriptor. A fat bank account is something to be proud of; a fat baby is one of THE BEST THINGS EVER; but a fat lip isn’t great. Being fat and female? The worst curse of all.
Or so we’ve been led to believe.
Fat is bad, right?
Fat means lazy, dumb, unhealthy, and pretty much every negative connotation in the book.
On the other side is “skinny” and although ‘skinny’ people don’t necessarily face the same level of discrimination as “fat” people do, I’ve been witness to people feeling it’s appropriate to comment on someone’s weight being too low. I know someone who worked really hard to change eating habits, began exercising regularly, and then not surprisingly, lost weight, which was her goal, only to be told by an acquaintance, as she touched her face (which stop right there), not to “lose too much weight.” Was it said out of a well intended place? Likely. Does that make it okay? No.
Why do we do that? Why do we as humans think we have the right to approach and comment on anyone’s weight or appearance at all? It’s the sidelong looks when someone who is not a size 8 is eating a burger, or someone who is a size 8 is eating a salad. Women, in particular, cannot win. (also for the record ‘size 8’ was an arbitrarily picked number!).
Whether you struggle to lose weight, gain weight, or don’t give a flying fuck about your weight altogether (ahhh, see there’s my word!), I think it’s safe to say that someone else’s opinion about your weight is unnecessary. You know what you look like and how you feel about that.
My son is 9 and wavers between being worried about his weight (he’s a bit of a heavier set fella) and being ridiculously confident and pointing out his “one pack” (he wasn’t joking and was feeling very proud!). I repeatedly tell him he has a “beautiful body”. I certainly want him to be healthy and direct him more towards healthy snacks when possible because he inherited his momma’s sweet tooth, but the last thing I want that kid to ever think is that what kind of a person he is depends on his weight or what he looks like.
What’s my point? Fuck fat. Fuck telling yourself you’re fat and feeling badly about it. This is a message as much to myself as anyone else…if you want to be more fit (F words everywhere!) then be more fit. If you love your body the way it is, whatever that is, don’t let anyone or anything make you think that’s not okay.
Here’s the final F word: feelings. Let’s all try to be a little more considerate of our own feelings and those of others. Let’s focus (I can’t even stop at this point) on things like integrity, kindness, and decency.
Finally (ha) I am going to leave you with this:
“A Good Body is One that Carries the Soul of a Person who Loves It.”*
*Not going to lie, I Googled that, and the source was not listed so I’ll just give credit to Google for now!*