14 Years and 10 months. That’s how long I’ve known my husband and we’ve been married for just about that entire time! We met January 4, 2002 and were married October 25, 2002. When you know, you know.

Ours is a true union of opposites. I am Type A and Ryan is whatever the exact opposite of that is. I want things to be in order and I want everything just “so” and I think I need to be perfect, we need to be perfect, and what will people think if we aren’t perfect?! Ryan? Not so much – thank goodness!

He has talked me down more times than I can count and rarely loses patience with me and yet I lose mine all of the time. I don’t have a lot to begin with and his seems to be limitless (at times).

Is he perfect? Nope. He snores and I swear every time he finishes a bowl of ice cream he tries to remove the finish from the bowl with his incessant scraping to ensure he gets every last drop. He’s a slow walker. He likes Cheez Whiz AND syrup on his pancakes!! WTF.

Fun fact, I am not perfect either! As previously covered, I lack patience. I am hard on myself and by default, hard on him. It takes A LOT for me to relax (whereas when it comes to relaxing, he’s semi-pro). I laugh too often and too hard at my own jokes. I expect him to read my mind. I made him try spinach not once, BUT TWICE.

Ryan is likely the reason I have yet to be imprisoned for an act of violence against a slow driver, slow walker, or someone whom I believe has ‘shown disrespect to our family’. He forgives and trusts like no other whereas I suspect and assess. The fact that I’m often right should be noted (insert smirk-y smart ass face here) but I truly love that he thinks the best of people. He looks for the good and believes only in the good until shown otherwise. He will help anyone, anywhere, anytime, and is happy to do it. He also tries very hard to make me happy and I, nor our kids, ever doubt that we are loved. His heart is huge and our youngest son takes after him and you will never meet a more loving kid.

Our marriage is not perfect. We’re not perfect. What we do best is continue to try. We make a conscious decision to keep trying because we know, this is something worth trying for.

I feel it’s prudent to add I was once divorced and I don’t have any regrets about that divorce – it was truly the right decision. Of course I would have liked to spare my children that experience and pain but had we stayed together, it would have been worse. So when I say Ryan and I have something “worth trying for” I’m not making light of anyone who finds themselves unable to try anymore. I’ve been there. I know what it’s like not to love someone anymore and whenever I think this is “too hard”, I remind myself what it really feels like not to love someone anymore and know that, this is not that.  Being angry, hurt, annoyed, or frustrated does not equal “not in love”.

So here we go, ready to embark on another year of trying. Another year of laughing. Another year of sometimes arguing. Another year of watching our kids grow and being simultaneously beyond proud of and exasperated by them. Another year of choosing each other.

Happy Anniversary you big Cheez Whiz loving Son of a Gun.

Love, Me




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