One week down, 11 to go. I really shouldn’t have looked that up…
I feel better. Truly. By the end of December I felt like a bag of shit. Literally. Bloated, tired, and just gross. It did not stop me from continuing to put all of the food in my mouth but it did not feel good. Also, it’s not just physically. I feel better emotionally/mentally as well. I feel clearer and have a better attitude aside from my brief (thank God) tangle with PMS. Also I don’t feel guilty, ashamed, or embarrassed about what I’m eating right now. I don’t want to get all cray on everyone but I truly do think there is some truth to food addiction or sugar addiction and it’s what I’m prone to. I enjoy an adult beverage on occasion but can literally go weeks or months without drinking without giving it a second thought.
I don’t crave vodka or fantasize about when I can have it next – most of the time anyway! Right now as I try to again rid myself of the sugar covered monkey on my back, I contemplate, almost daily, just saying “Eff it” and having the chocolate, the cereal, the whatever. I have to talk myself out of it, again, almost every. single. day.
What I know is that it gets easier and right now I’m of the mindset where I can hold strong. I obviously don’t always have this mindset and the competition is certainly keeping it alive!
All of the peeing. I’m drinking a lot of water and so in turn I’m also spending a lot of time going back and forth to the bathroom. It’s annoying but not a deal breaker. Crankiness. It hasn’t been bad as of yet – aside from the height of the hormone hostage taking – but there are times I find myself irritated or almost angry that I can’t just eat what I want and have to restrict myself again. It’s stupid. I am only restricting myself from things that make me feel bad anyway. Then I was on Pinterest and saw a number of pins about body acceptance and I don’t know why but they make me feel guilty about trying to lose weight. Which is also stupid. I am all for people loving their bodies and I will love mine – in time. Right now I love how strong I am. I love my legs. I don’t love the rolls on my back. I don’t need to store anything back there as I have a number of purses and tote bags in which to keep loose change, pens or pencils, and so on. So those two rolls are pretty useless and right now are just something for my shirt to get stuck in so thanks but no thanks.
Also, in the name of keeping it real, I’m gassy. All the roughage and fibre has got this girl’s body in quite a way. Throw a little dairy on top of that in the form of some protein rich Greek yogurt and by the time I get home, well let’s just say my husband has been both shocked and impressed by the results – often simultaneously.
It makes me feel super attractive.
Week 1 saw a loss of 3 lbs! I’m actually pretty jacked about that as despite all my grumbling up above at no point was I ever starving and I feel better! I should clarify that when it’s meal time IT IS MEAL TIME AND I WANT THE FOOD IN MY MOUTH RIGHT NOW but then once I eat? I’m good.
Also for the first time in a long time I worked out all 7 days of the week (Sunday was a short 20 minute recovery workout) and had a Shake all 7 days and stuck to my meal plan all seven days aside from the cheat I allowed myself for my son’s birthday! I enjoyed two tiny corner pieces of pizza and a small piece of pizza, and a small piece of birthday cake this weekend and still lost 3 lbs! How about them apples?!
Normally when doing a challenge I don’t weigh at any point in between because that’s not how I did it the first time and then I realized in order to be the most successful I need to do what works for me and I’m motivated by a weekly record of progress! I will not step on the scale again until next week but I will look forward to it and it helps keep me motivated. Motivated does not last forever, nor is it always easy, and so an external motivator is sometimes and often a necessary push. My pants are also fitting a tiny bit better too and I am definitely less bloated.
So hey, Mr. Competition? Check yourself because I’m just getting started! The Road to 40 is looking pretty good from here. Can you see it or did you trip on those 3 lbs I lost? Maybe you hung back a little because you thought it’d be nice to give the ‘girl’ a head start. Maybe you stopped to pick up some extra padding for the ass kicking that’s coming. I don’t know but what I do know is I’m coming in hot!