Well it’s that oh so special day of the year where the single are made to feel like maybe they are missing out, the newly dating are excited to have yet another reason to show ‘bae’ just how much they adore them, and the married fight over who’s going to help the kids with the Valentines or where they should go to eat.
My husband and I texted each other a couple of love notes and funny GIFs today. I did not purchase a card or a gift for him and neither did he for me. I also did not buy gifts for my kids but I did make a Valentine’s themed breakfast for the kid who was up early enough (heart shaped toast, scrambled eggs with a ketchup heart, and a mug of hot chocolate) and the other one will get a treat of some sort tonight.
Basically, it’s just another day except I am wearing a lot of red. I really don’t want to be the Scrooge of Valentine’s Day but honestly it’s a Tuesday in February. I don’t feel any stronger love towards my husband because of either of those things. I loved him a lot on Sunday when he told me he’d get the groceries and do the laundry. I loved him a lot yesterday when I came home from work and supper was already made. I loved him on Friday when he talked me off the ledge after I thought I wrecked our computer.
I first knew I loved him very early into our relationship and I could not stop thinking about him. Ever. It was so exciting and exhausting at the same time! Exhausting because we were in a long distance relationship and he worked odd hours (as a railroader lest you be concerned) and when he phoned, no matter the time, I answered! Really if there is any indication of how much I love this man, that is it right there. The only people I pick up the phone for now are either of my Grandmothers and my children. We talked for HOURS on the phone about nothing and everything.
We got married 10 months after we met and I was a ball of nerves that day. I actually think I was more nervous marrying him than I was when I married my first husband. First of all, I was 25 this time and not 18. When you’re 18, you truly do not fully grasp all of the implications of your actions and marriage, I now really understood after having gone through a divorce, was not to be toyed with. Secondly, I was scared. I was committing to this man for life and I wanted that but still, FOR LIFE! My neck ached all day and we had the simplest of ceremonies (trust me, it was simple…a toilet was flushed part way through but that’s a story for another day) and then we went for dinner with our best man, his wife, and my maid of honour. We spent the weekend shopping and went to a football game. We called our families after the fact. The only thing I regret about any of it was that we never had any photos professionally done. We have candids but that’s it and really, there was over $2000 spent on pics for my first wedding and that didn’t matter in the end!
I had never fully understood or comprehended the whole “when you know, you know” notion until I met this guy. I knew. I still know. Even after the biggest of fights, the loudest of farts, the sleepless night spent listening to him snore, I know. We annoy the hell out of each other and are different in a lot of ways but I’m convinced that’s what works for us. He’s patient and I am not. I’m funny and he’s not. Ha ha ha! Just kidding – he gets to listen to me laugh at my own jokes more than anyone and he is pretty good natured about the amount I tease him but he’s also not a pushover. We’d both do anything for our kids. We both like to party when the mood strikes. Neither of us is jealous in nature. I don’t trust and he does and you wouldn’t think that would work but it does. I read people quickly and tend to judge just as quickly. He does the opposite and then somehow we find a way to meet in the middle. In fact, because of him I give people more of a chance than I would on my own and that’s a good thing! And because of me? He is a little less Golden Retriever about everyone he meets – this is a good thing. That big bastard*
will be anyone’s friend and give everyone the benefit of the doubt because he’s got a huge heart. I love that about him. I don’t love when people exploit that side of him but again, another story for another day.
My point is, whether or not we exchange cards, eat dinner by candlelight or in shifts around hockey, I love him with my whole heart every day and not just this one and I know he loves me the same. We’re not perfect by any stretch and we fight pretty good sometimes but in the end, neither of us is going anywhere, and if that’s what today means, then I’ll take it.
Happy Not Going Anywhere Day to You All!
*I recently ran into an old friend of Ryan’s family who said, upon learning who I was, “You must have married that big bastard then!” I said I most definitely did marry that “big bastard”! ☺