Today is Friday, the day of days. My favourite day. Some people say they like Saturday better and I understand that. For many of us, Saturday usually means no work at all. The thing is I’m a glass half empty girl no matter how hard I try, and Saturday means there is only one more day before I have to return to work and get up at 5 am and do all of the responsible adult things.

Friday is filled with promise, hope, and good feelings. Everyone is in a good mood on Friday. When I worked in an office, Friday afternoons were a pretty good if not the best time to be at work because everyone is SO DAMN HAPPY. Where I work now, everyone (with the exception of a few of us) have to work weekends and work shift work so Friday doesn’t have the same flair for those folks as it does for us 9 to 5’ers and that is more than understandable.

Here is what I think the days of the week would be like if they were people and the conversations we might have:

Monday: “Why doesn’t anyone like me? What did I do to them? I’m the chance to start a new. A new diet, a new day, a new work week, a new beginning!”

Me: “Shut up. You are nothing but alarm clocks, packed lunches, the end of all things fun, and the epitome of sadness. You are Eeyore but less likeable.”

*One exception is long weekends and on those such instances, Monday again becomes an acceptable member of the group.

Tuesday: “Heeeyyyy, I brought Tacos!”

Me: “That’s all you brought. You are practically Monday and you bring nothing to the table except cheap movie theatre prices but who has the energy to go to a movie during the work week?”

Wednesday: “HUMMMPPPPPP DAAAAYYYYYYYY! That’s right, I’m here! It’s the halfway point and you all love me and aren’t I great AND don’t you love that camel commercial? Mike, Mike!”

Me: “You are somewhat tolerable but don’t get too carried away with yourself now. Wednesdays sometimes mean meetings and no one likes meetings. You also try way too hard Wed – nes- day. No one says it like that. You know that – we all say ‘Wensday’, legit. Does it bother you? Guess what we don’t care because you’re still not Friday.”

Thursday: (giggle giggle) “What up? It’s me, ‘Friday Junior’!”

EE: “No. stop.”

Thursday: “Whhhaaat? I’m the next best thing to Friday and plus you can post all your throwback pic on social media today. #tbt, am I right?! SUH fun.”

Me: “You’re an idiot. You are only good when I don’t have to actually work on Friday, otherwise you’re just a stupid barrier between Wednesday and the weekend and give us false hope when really there are 2 more days of the work week left. You need to sort yourself out and settle.”

Friday: “WHAT UP MY BITCHES?! WHO’S READY TO PARRRTTAAAYYYYYYY? WHO WANTS TO LIVE ON THE EDGE AND STAY UP PAST 10? Maybe have a drink or two? Sleep in tomorrow? Not pack a lunch? Who’s with me? LET’S DO THIS!”

Me: “You sexy son of a gun. I’ve been looking for you all week. Goddamnit, F, you keep me waiting but every time you come around again it’s like the first time. Let’s do this! I’m going to wear jeans today because on Fridays we casual. CASHHH-U-ALLLL. That’s right. I love EVERYONE. EVERYTHING. WOOT WOOT!!”

Saturday: “Hey, what’s up? You like this? You like this free time? Did you like sleeping in? Want to go for breakfast? Wear sweatpants or better yet pajamas all day? Do it. You know you want to and you know I’m your favourite. Tell me I’m your favourite. Say it.”

Me: “I like it but I also have to go to the rink/ball diamond/field/get groceries and probably clean something. Free time my ass. I also know what’s coming up right behind you and I don’t like it. I’m going to enjoy you but you’re a pretty cocky little dude for someone who typically means errands and housework and kids activities. Granted, I still can dress more comfortably than normal, I didn’t have to get up at 5, and there is always an increased possibility of alcohol consumption, so you’re okay. Just take it down a notch.”

Sunday: “Hey, brunch anyone? Let’s have a nice brunch and spend time with family. I’m the day of rest. Don’t you feel rested and relaxed? Loving that family time aren’t you? Oh blessed are we.”

Me: “Yeah, you’re kind of nice and I’m not going to put on actual pants today if I don’t have to but I’m also going to have to pack lunches tonight and you know how I feel about that! You know you are the gateway to the rat race. Every damn week. You show up with the promise of sweatpants and naps and provide a false sense of security but before you even leave I’m already having to get back into the work week and I curse you for it. CURSE YOU.”

I may have too much time on my hands…but if you feel any differently about any of this, feel free to comment. In the mean time I’m going to enjoy the F out of this Friday! Cheers!




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