So here I am, 40. It’s official. The last of the birthday flowers have wilted and been thrown away. The party is over and it’s time to just ‘be’.
What does this mean?
In reality sweet fuck all but I have started the following list in honour of ‘Forty’. No more time to dilly dally kids, shit’s getting real and I think it’s time to settle in and embrace the slightly off kilter gal that I am.
Without further ado here’s THE LIST:
- Buy better clothes. Pick a style and build a wardrobe. Right now my wardrobe consists of the following: anything on sale, cardigans because I work on the set of Frozen, t-shirts, and hoodies. Pants are primarily jeans and a couple pairs of semi-professional ‘slacks’, if you will. I used to wear skirts too but see above re: work environment. It’s time to stop dressing like I did when I was a university student with only the addition of a decorative scarf from time to time. I do like to be comfortable but I’ve watched enough ‘What Not to Wear’ in my day to know that you can look nice and be comfortable. So there, that’s goal number one.
- Attend at least two concerts a year. I love live music but always talk myself out of attending live shows usually based on finances. Yet I find money for stupid shit like copious amounts of candy and hoodies so perhaps I could re-direct those finances towards something that truly lifts my spirits and makes me happy.
- Buy nicer bedding. Thread count matters and it’s time to stop pretending it doesn’t.
- Stop caring what other people think. This should actually be number one on the list but here it is and I think it’s down here because I’ve been trying to embrace this one for a long time but it’s a work in progress. Seriously I need to embrace my inner introvert. I am not hockey mom extraordinaire. I am not here for small talk. I am not crafty. I am lots of things that are pretty awesome and I need to work on rocking those out and forget the rest.
- Forget about abs AKA accept this body for once and for all. I am never going to have flat washboard abs. Not because it’s impossible but because I am tired of trying to attain something that will literally have zero affect on who I am, what kind of wife, mother, or friend I am. I want to be healthy and fit and that’s where it ends. This body serves me well and I made four of the most fantastic human beings you’ll ever meet right inside of it and it puts up with my punching, yoga-ing, squatting, and lunging on a regular basis. It also puts up with the occasional overindulgence of vodka and candy and for that I gladly give it much respect.
- Be nicer to my mom. The older I get, and I realize this is very cliché, the more I realize how much she means to me. I am not an easy girl to love sometimes (spoiler alert) and often it’s her who bears the brunt of it (right now my husband is like “Back the truck up, Chuck!”); because both of them get the full ‘Angela Experience’. They are the 2 people I can 100% be myself with and that’s not an excuse for me to shit on them but I’ve seen it enough professionally to know that’s what happens. The people we feel safest and most secure with get to see our true selves: the good, the bad, and the ugliest. Point being, I need to be nicer to both of them.
This list is not finished because neither am I. I will continue to grow and change and hopefully push myself to do both of those things with as much grace as I can muster – providing said grace allows for a decent number of f-bombs.
I am me. I am smart, passionate, loyal, funny, and protective but I am also loud, bossy, impatient, and sarcastic. The volume level could be toned down a bit but typically clients at work can hear me because of big voice and that’s a bonus. The bossiness is leadership in disguise. The impatience is not ideal but I am the most impatient with myself and it ensures I am focused and work hard on whatever task is at hand in order to get it done, not only well, but efficiently. Sarcasm is my first language and I have no intention on changing it. It’s my basic form of communication and ask anyone who knows me, I am far from an enigma. This girl wears her feelings on her face and more often than not they also slip (with force) out of her mouth.
Stay tuned as I become a better dressed music maven with Egyptian cotton bedsheets, confidence galore, and an improved softer side for those closest to me.
Or at the very least I’ll get a couple of new summer party cardi’s and hit up the beer gardens at Sidewalk Days…