I just wrote a super angry post and deleted it. It contained such delightful phrases as “useless twat” and “go fuck yourself” but upon careful consideration I decided that wasn’t going to do anyone any good.
So now what?
Now what is learning to let go. Let it Be. Carry On like My Wayward Son. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. What else? Did I leave out any good ones?
I am at constant war with myself of wanting to be able to be cool and just ignore the idiotic things that are part of day to day life because I can’t control them. However, I also just happen to have an opinion on everything and a burning desire to make it known to anyone who will listen.
I want to track down certain adults and question them on their motives behind openly badmouthing my 10 year old at a ball game while he was at bat. Then I want to do other things to/with them…like pray for them, maybe do some healing, and of course, guided meditation. Ha. No, that’s not it at all. I want to hurl insults and hit below the belt and make them feel small but I won’t. I won’t because he didn’t even hear them and the fact that anyone feels the need to insult a 10 year old means they are lacking something rather significant in their lives already and I’m not going to change that.
I want to move sometimes. A lot. Get out of this place and start over somewhere new but I know that’s unrealistic and silly. We have so many good friends here and this is our youngest two children’s hometown and I think that means something.
I want to scream, shout, and let it all out but mostly? I want to nap everyday. And then eat warm cookies straight out of the oven.
I want to exist solely on barbecued hot dogs, cold beer, and freezies and not have my health suffer any the worse for it. Is that too much to ask?
I want to read until my eyes fall out and then head out to the movies and take in all of the summer blockbusters. I want to go to outdoor concerts and drink and dance and forget that people suck.
I want to be so relaxed that I take it down a notch and am no longer easily identifiable as ‘Type A’ but maybe just a even a Type A-…is that too much to ask and could someone get back to me on if that’s possible and maybe provide me with the supporting documentation and a How-To manual?
I want to walk and not run, I want to slip and not fall, I want to….be a Dixie Chick.
I want world peace and if that’s not possible? Drinks on the patio will do just fine.